It's true that I used to believe a failure in clearing the infections meant I was one of those treatment failures, and I just did not want to provide fodder for anyone's "chronic lyme is untreatable" malarkey.
One day, after sharing my treatment failure worries with a much loved and very Lyme Literate neurologist, he begged to differ - emphatically. So much had changed for me. Among the changes: I was completing sentences. My pain was down and twitching was less. I was reading actual books. I was walking more than wobbling. My cane only was used to pull the curtains open at home, and I was sleeping every night. I was driving safely. He reminded me of these victories and more, and that's when I began to realize a very gradual shift was beginning. My life was redefining the word healing for me.
Healing from Lyme etc. is not only about clearing the diseases, but opening my heart and becoming reacquainted with my soul. If you've ever felt separated from your soul you know what I mean. It's a feeling of fractured-everything-on-the-inside. It seems to me, however, that this is an illusion. We are never really less than whole, but we forget - we feel lost - we feel broken. Our soul, I believe, is always there just waiting patiently. It is not our soul that ever disengages - it is us.
Healing, I think, is not primarily about the body..
Healing, I believe, is more about remembering who we are.
So, then, it is not about cure or remission.
Healing is about knowing, as Belleruth Naparstek says, we are "perfectly, utterly, safe."