Aimlessly Wondering Big Magic Thoughts
Would it be possible to accidentally overhear them talking, picking up inspiration or ideas not meant for us, but for them? Have you ever hatched a new thought while you were deep in the middle of another? Maybe this is how that happens. Why not?
As I write this I am thinking about how, only a few seconds ago, my pen came to a fork in the road. There was a choice to be made - to record the thought I was on instead of a brand new one? I stayed the course and told the newcomer to sit still and wait. I would quickly finish my sentence and return with my pen to take dictation, but it left.
I cannot let it go so easily. Pausing here in my writing, I turn on one heel and chase this thought, going back to the fork in the road. I re-read what I was working on from the beginning, hoping to bump into it somewhere along the way, looking for something, anything, to trigger my memory just in case it wasn’t really gone.
Is she hiding? I wonder. Why not? Maybe rewriting the first sentence will coax her out laughing wildly, saying “Gotcha! Made you look!”
So, I retrace the path and rewrite every step, word by word.
I decide to read my words aloud, hoping to prod the thought back into my consciousness.
It. Is. Gone.
I move on, telling myself that if she wants to come back to me, she will, and promise to make note next time before she slips away. My wondering grew. If she was a whisper overheard, spoken to my Muse by her Muse as they walked along the path, she won't be back because she wasn't even mine to have. Hey, it could happen. I believe in my Muse, so why would I deny she may have a Muse of her own? And, by what logic would I conclude that they don’t speak to each other?
As long as I’m wondering, why not wonder if a person could have more than one Muse visit at the same time? Not a Muse for the Muse, but two muses... each for them. For me? That could make for a very busy, less than peaceful, mind.
The busy mind can feel a lot like a shoe clearance with everyone grabbing up a wide assortment of shoes at rock bottom prices. The flurry of shoppers are all vying for the attention of one haggard salesperson milling around with the required smile, skillfully balancing a tower of last season's shoe boxes in one hand, passing out nylon footsies with the other, and suddenly blurting into her thick head of dark brown hair (outing her bluetooth device to the store manager, passing by) “I don’t KNOW where your Elsa T-shirt is! Ask Jenny to help you- I’m at work!”
The busy mind. Sometimes it’s not even a nice place to visit.
There is another way to look at it, though. Maybe it’s not an end of the season shoe sale but a Muse convention. Maybe the Muses are dragging around wheeled duffle bags full of ideas and they are aching to show us how to bring them forth. Maybe we can’t make our busy minds cease all busy-ness. Maybe, if we knew better, we wouldn’t want to.
Here’s what I want to do - create a soul space, a private internal spa, open 24/7. I’ll bring my Muse along for some chamomile tea and a hot rock massage and we can get to know each other better. She will share, in detail, the idea she has for me, I'll try it on for size, color, and adrenalin reaction. Then we'll negotiate an understanding about who does what if I decide to commit while sipping cucumber infused spring water.
As for the thought that got away, it stands to reason that if she was for me, and I need her, she’ll be back. In the meantime, I’ll learn to become a better note taker, a shorthand maker, and a master of grabbing tiny details that will jog my memory later. Practice is the only way to get better at this, so that’s what I intend to do. Practice. Notice. Capture more thoughts.
I’ve been reading BIG MAGIC: Creative Living Beyond Fear. If you want to understand why all of this has anything to do with that, please pick up a copy and treat yourself to Elizabeth Gilbert’s latest book. Big Magic is why it suddenly feels okay let my wild ideas breathe freely. If some folks think I've finally gone over the edge it will be my sign that I must be on the right track.
Other posts inspired by Big Magic, specifically MAGIC LESSONS:
Creativity and Midwifery and Letting Shame Go
Creativity and the Evolution of a Song
It Wants to be Wildfire